*ing wifey in a lead role!

Only an apologetic smile to sport after being "beaten".

Raju Korti
Regardless of whether it shows on my CV or not, the one faculty that I have always been at pains to let all and sundry know is my interminable and unflagging pursuit for anything that is cerebral. How much of those efforts consummate to fruition is, of course, quite another story. At the far end of the spectrum is my better half whose interests and quests come with a very short shelf life. To my friends, it is a quirk of nature that two diverse personalities with diametrically opposite interests survive and cohabit under the same roof for years with a commitment that appears woefully out of place.
So even as Your's Truly is trying to explore and make sense of the esoteric of Nature on National Geographic or Discovery Science, the spouse is gleefully hooked onto the sinister machinations of the frothy Saas-Bahu soaps or onto the lurid gossip doing the rounds of tinsel town. Yet, in our case it is twain East and West meeting just because they find the same address.
Take for instance fan magazines. They never held any charm for me and I am charitable towards them only to the extent of flicking idly through their pages. But the minister at home prevailed upon my vulnerable sensitivities to subscribe to a few.
In my wife’s eyes, I am an insensate soul who can only sport a stony face or at best a contrived smile when it comes to watching the present-day celebrity faces. Nothing shakes her steadfast opinion that I am out of tune and sync with times. She isn’t far from the truth.
My admirations are reserved for the mature veterans – a blood-shot-eyed Devdas-ish Dilip Kumar, a Chaplinsque now-he-cries-now-he-smiles Raj Kapoor and the urbane and stylish Dev Anand. I remain smitten by the impish charm of Madhubala, the cherubic allure of Nutan and more often than not go into a harangue on the acting prowess of Waheeda Rehman and Meena Kumari.
Far removed from these "antiquated priorities" of mine, my wife is more into the robust Khans, Roshans and Kapoors. Her metaphor: Johnny Walker is history, Johny Lever is contemporary. Raj Kapoor is a relic of the past and Ranbir Kapoor a token of the present. In other words, the stage is always set for a long collision course.
Once an argument is triggered -- which is almost at the drop of a hat -- it usually rages on until she wins it mostly because of her strident decibels. The saving grace (!) is the four walls of the house are the only ones to be privy to these spats. When it comes to watching films on the telly, she grabs the remote with a swiftness Jonty Rhodes would marvel while I manage to beat her at this game like Bangladesh manages to beat India in cricket.
A blast from the past: At the sight of Hrithik she went weak in the knees while Shah Rukh made her swoon like an infatuated teeny bopper. Her eyes almost popped out at Madhuri Dikshit's "500-watt smile" and Sridevi's "sensuous gyrations". But then as I said these were all passing fads.
So Anil Kapoor was in and out of her mind in no time while Akshay Kumar was just a passing phase – by her standards of course. Salman was beginning to make inroads when his indiscretion in Rajasthan made him fall from grace. Shah Rukh enjoyed the longest innings before Mr Rippling Muscles Hrithik made short work of him. Poor Hrithik lost his exalted status to Ranbir Kapoor who thankfully doesn't know who might be breathing down his neck!
Back to the present: She always has a specious justification for her rapidly changing pre-eminent statuses -- that she lives with the times. It is her oblique way of telling me that I am stuck in the same old, rusted groove.
Every so often the argument takes on the hue of Old versus New and all my feeble rejoinders are conveniently dismissed as misplaced cynicism. It is in vain that I try to reason out my case on Style versus Substance. We don't think we can ever reach the finer points of film appreciation as I get knocked out in the round robin league itself.
Wisdom coming from long experience, I have wised up to her idiosyncrasies. The subscriptions to the glossies may have brought the noise levels down but I can also sense an argument when there is one. When you are dealing with a starry Knight, you can only get check-mated.
Check out the picture accompanying this piece and you will get the photo.