When ego becomes a medal: Munir & Trump two of a kind!

Raju Korti
Self-love is the new world order. In Pakistan, Field Marshal Asim Munir pinned a gallantry medal on his own chest with all the solemnity of a man discovering gravity. In America, Donald Trump is angling for a Nobel Peace Prize, preferably signed, framed, and gift-wrapped by Hillary Clinton. Different continents, same spectacle. Two men competing in the Olympics of Self-Congratulation.

I sometimes wonder if we have entered a parallel universe where humility has been declared extinct and self-promotion has been enshrined as a fundamental right. Exhibit A: Field Marshal Asim Munir, Pakistan’s top brass, who -- bored of waiting for recognition from others -- decided to skip the queue and simply award himself the Hilal-e-Jurat. Why bother with panels, citations, or history books when you can save everyone the trouble and just pin it on yourself?

To be fair, it is not entirely unprecedented. Kids give themselves gold stars on homework, Instagram influencers add “visionary” to their bios, and YouTubers declare themselves “world’s best.” But a decorated general, no less, awarding himself for gallantry in a nation where gallantry usually involves surviving inflation? That takes audacity, or perhaps just an exceptionally large mirror. Maybe even real gallantry!

And what better mirror image than Donald Trump? The former (and possibly future) US President is currently auditioning for the Nobel Peace Prize, preferably handed to him by Hillary Clinton, his political nemesis. If Munir represents the “ultimate flex” of the uniformed variety, Trump is perfecting the civilian counterpart: strutting into negotiations as though they were beauty pageants and recasting himself as “Architect of World Peace.” It is the kind of peace where he alone gets the photo-ops, preferably under golden lighting, with everyone else playing backup.

What unites them is a flair for spectacle. Munir compares Pakistan to a dump truck that could smash India’s Mercedes, forgetting that dump trucks without fuel don’t move anywhere except the scrapyard. Trump, meanwhile, imagines himself as the only man alive who can look Putin in the eye and choreograph a ceasefire, never mind that global diplomacy is slightly more complicated than hawking real estate in Manhattan.

Both men, in their own ways, have turned governance and strategy into stand-up comedy. One pins medals on himself for wars that never delivered victories; the other waits for a Nobel before even attempting to stop one. For the rest of us, the irony is exhausting yet entertaining: Munir’s dump truck is stuck in IMF’s parking lot, and Trump’s Peace Prize dream rests on Hillary Clinton -- who would rather nominate a stray cat than the man who once branded her “crooked.

”In the end, I suppose both deserve something. Munir deserves a medal -- for self-confidence strong enough to carry a collapsing nation on his ego. Trump deserves a medal too -- for turning even the bleakest geopolitical crisis into a stage for his one-man reality show. Perhaps the UN should introduce a new category: Gallantry in Self-Promotion. That way, both gentlemen can stand tall, medals glittering, dump trucks and Nobel fantasies intact, while the rest of us enjoy the circus from the cheap seats.