Raju Korti
Illness does not merely affect the
afflicted; it casts a long, relentless shadow over their loved ones as well.
While patients endure physical suffering, their families bear the emotional and
financial brunt, often with little respite. In our line of work, we frequently
encounter caregivers -- exhausted, overwhelmed, and teetering on the edge of
despair. They come seeking guidance, and as they recount their struggles, eyes
brimming with unshed tears, our hearts inevitably ache for them. Consolation,
in such moments, feels woefully inadequate. The stark reality remains: illness
disrupts lives, depletes finances, and saps the spirit. We do our best to instil
hope, for hope, as they say, is what keeps the world afloat.
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| The book cover |
Chandrashekhar Welankar is not merely the author of this book -- he is the living embodiment of the Sobati philosophy. The genesis of this book lies in his wife Varsha’s prolonged and arduous health struggles. What began as a seemingly minor ailment -- gallbladder stones -- escalated into sudden kidney failure, necessitating years of dialysis and, eventually, a transplant. Yet, even after enduring these painful procedures, the battle was/is far from over.
Through this deeply personal account, Chandrashekhar highlights an often-overlooked reality: illness is never an individual struggle. While the patient experiences the physical affliction, those attending to them (he avoids words like caregiver or guide) endure emotional and financial distress that is just as debilitating. Doctors provide medical interventions, but the ceaseless anxiety, the crushing weight of financial constraints, and the gnawing fear of uncertainty are borne silently by families. This is where a Sobati -- a true companion -- becomes invaluable.
A Sobati is not necessarily a medical professional or a trained caregiver. They may be a family member, a close friend, or even a stranger -- anyone who offers unwavering support, not through grand gestures but through the simple yet profound act of being present. Sometimes, just listening without offering unsolicited advice is the most precious gift one can give.
The book begins with the ephemeral, transient nature of life, its existential crises and an inevitability called death. As the book unfolds, each chapter resonates with raw, unfiltered emotions. The anguish of watching a loved one suffer, the financial strain of prolonged medical treatments, the sleepless nights spent in hospital corridors -- these experiences are heartbreakingly real. Yet, amidst this turmoil, Sobati illuminates the power of silent, steadfast companionship. In moments of crisis, words often fail, but a reassuring presence can speak volumes.
In response to his experiences, Chandrashekhar and his wife Varsha founded the Sobati Seva Foundation. This initiative serves as a beacon of hope for families grappling with medical crises, especially terminal illnesses. It extends not just emotional support but also practical guidance on financial planning, insurance, and accessing medical resources -- especially crucial for middle-class families struggling to balance healthcare costs with daily expenses.
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Chandrashekhar observed that even after receiving a correct diagnosis, many patients and their families remain in the dark due to a lack of adequate information about the illness and its treatment. Recognizing these critical gaps, he took it upon himself to bridge the divide between patients and medical experts. However, in this role, he remains steadfast in his belief that the medical expert’s opinion is sacrosanct and must always hold the highest authority in the entire process.
Drawing from his eye-opening experiences, the author strongly believes that a Sobati must always remain attuned to emotional well-being while seeking expert advice, when necessary, without hesitation or doubt. In such situations, a complex interplay of emotions unfolds -- ranging from worry, concern, and anguish to anger, confusion, revulsion, frustration, loneliness, and even despair. Chandrashekhar outlines a comprehensive blueprint for a Sobati, envisioning them as a guiding force -- a source of strength and solace for the families of terminally ill patients.
When Varsha’s illness was first diagnosed in 2013, Chandrashekhar was devastated. However, by 2019, he had not only found the strength to heal as a husband but had also embraced a larger purpose -- supporting others facing similar hardships. He recognized that the families of terminally ill patients grappled with the same fears and uncertainties. From this realization, the first “Sobati” was born -- ready to inspire and pave the way for many more like him, serving as a guiding light for those navigating the same difficult journey.
Chandrashekhar underscores an essential yet often neglected truth: financial preparedness is an integral part of medical care. During Varsha’s illness, the staggering medical expenses ran into more than Rs one crore. Fortunately, prudent financial planning and the generosity of well-wishers helped mitigate the burden. However, not everyone is so fortunate. Through his foundation, Chandrashekhar strives to empower families with knowledge and resources to navigate these daunting challenges.
An ardent votary of “see good, hear good and speak good”, Chandrashekhar does not forget to say a few words of gratitude to all those known and unknown Sobatis who are like co-travellers in testing times. He remains indebted to the unknown Samaritan, who donated kidney to Varsha and virtually gave a new lease of life.
Chandrashekhar reasons that “to serve others better, a Sobati must prioritize own physical, psychological, and emotional well-being. This is not selfishness. It is believed that 8 out of 10 Sobatis neglect themselves, fearing it would seem self-centred. Even something as simple as watching a movie triggers a feeling of guilt -- How can I think of this when my loved one is so unwell?
Sobati is not merely an account of personal suffering; it is a universal narrative of love, endurance, and the quiet heroism of those who care. It speaks to anyone who has ever stood by a loved one in their darkest hour. Whether you have lost someone dear, are currently tending to an ailing relative, or simply wish to understand the depth of human resilience, this book will touch your soul.
By all accounts, a Sobati is not an entity, He is Thought, Compassion, Empathy, in fact a complete algorithm of those who appear as angels in different forms at different times while terminal illness keeps taking its toll. The book – free-flowing and lucid -- is dedicated to every individual who thinks he/she is secondary when it comes to his near and dear ones.
Every page of Sobati with its eleven chapters – each one intensely thought-provoking -- is imbued with poignant reflections. It does not shy away from life’s harshest realities -- pain, loss, and the inevitability of death. Yet, it also offers a profound message: while death is inescapable, the journey towards it can be made less painful with the right companionship. And sometimes, that companionship is not about fixing the unfixable but about walking together, hand in hand, through life’s most trying moments.
Chandrashekhar, certified Yoga Instructor and Lifestyle Consultant, has dedicated his life to social service, and Sobati is more than just a book -- it is the cornerstone of a movement. In a world where people are increasingly isolated despite technological connectivity, the need for genuine human companionship has never been greater. Through this book, Chandrashekhar urges us all to be Sobatis -- to extend a hand, to listen, and to simply be there. He leads by example and begins by being one himself!
The book’s cover design, a visual masterpiece by renowned artist Sharad Tarade, encapsulates its essence beautifully. Published by Amaltash Books, Pune, Sobati is an essential read, for its insights could prove invaluable to anyone, at any stage of life.
At its core, Sobati is not about one individual -- it is about a way of being. It is a philosophy of care, an ethos of compassion, and an unwavering belief in the power of togetherness. The more this philosophy spreads, the more humane and empathetic our society will become.
The book is love’s labour. It exemplifies dedication, commitment, sincerity and above all sensitivity to human existence. This book is not just meant to be read. It is meant to be lived.
[‘Sobati’, authored by Chandrashekhar Welankar, published by Amaltash Books, Pune, Pages 128, Price Rs 200].
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