Raju Korti
Given the cynicism I was born with, I have, among other things, often wondered what people mean by the term "ageing gracefully." I mean, how does one age gracefully? Is it by one's demeanor, disposition or looks? The immediate provocation for this grossly grotesque existential question is what is happening inside of me of late as years advance in on me.
When people say I don't look like I am closing in on 68 as I appear much younger, my cynicism looks at it more as a consolation disguised as compliment. What is the big deal here? Anyone who plasters his face with a bit of fairness cream and dyes hair looks younger for his/her age. As for demeanor and disposition it is is inherently in a person. I am not convinced it makes for a great allowance as one's cultivated persona.
As for me, ageing has come with its attendant physical and mental ills. Despite my best attempts at "ageing gracefully" as people use the term pompously, I call this slow deterioration as brain fade. There are tell-tale signs -- slowing reflexes, forgetting things and not being able to be quick on the uptake anymore. It has essentially to do with loss of grey cells and unfortunately, cells do not age gracefully much as one would wish.
As a workhorse journalist with 44 painstaking years of grinding, I often prided on my phenomenal memory. I never took notes even in the most complex of interviews or situations that involved a maze of figures. I would sneer at colleagues who carried a notepad on the apprehension of misquoting people or making factual errors. At the cost of sounding a little impudent, I never faltered on any of these. The last one year seems to have slowly changed that perception. Although I am out of active journalism (a blessing in disguise with the atrophy in the profession), I continue to write and what has come to my realization is I now have to wrack my brains to cobble up ideas and even if do, I need an effort to put them cohesively. Even remembering a brief for a commissioned article, which once I thought was a cakewalk, has become tricky. I don't know if these are part of "ageing gracefully."
Don't for a minute think that my blog has patently negative connotation. It is not as if I expect to die the next moment with no guarantees in life. I continue to exercise regularly, eat healthily and strive to bring down stress levels. Having said that, I cannot also overlook the downside of ageing. It is a part of my in-built defensive mechanism that I try to overcome with whatever trappings my faculties can afford. My life inventory starts at the top with my greying hair and colouring them. The fact that many of my age have allowed nature to take a toll on their ageing parameters and still manage(d) to look just as fine, I have tried to defy through hair dyes and creams that improve skin tone, until my fantasies dropped down to Mother Earth with the conclusion that fairness creams look bright only in glossy ads on those who are already fair. Cosmetics have a limited role to play.
I do not know how many beyond their sixties look to refurbish their appearance but my admirations have always been reserved for those who try to deflect ageing with their mental agility and polishing their reflexes. I am taking this cue from my journalist friend Mayank Chhaya, who has kept himself busy up to his neck in constructive work and joyful pursuits (for whatever their worth). We had a light but assuaging chat that I hope will revive my sagging spirits.
So pulling up my socks and rolling up my sleeves once again to reinvigorate my dwindling resolve. To quote the rhetorical phrase, gearing up to "age gracefully".
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