A figure of speech called "father figure"

Raju Korti
As someone who has been a "father figure" to many youngsters, I have always believed that it takes a strong man to accept somebody else's children and step up to the plate another man left on the table. The conviction probably also stems from the fact that I am not a biological parent. Being a teacher to grown up students and youngsters in my chosen profession, I know the trappings well.

It is Father's Day today and as it happens year after year, there seems to be a knock-out being played on whose dad is the best (in the world). In the tie-breaker all fathers are winners hands down. The concept that fathers are born and not made puts "father figures" like me at a permanent disadvantage. The father figure is rolled gold to a father's pure gold.

In my three decades of teaching and four decades of being a professional, I have been addressed as a father figure by many. Some of them said it formally while with some it appeared in their demeanor. But I took a backseat as they they latched on to their biological fathers whenever it came to be vocal. The "father figure" was always the unsung hero. Blood is thicker than water and tokenism has a higher brand equity. There is just an academic quotient to being a father figure.

Go to an Archie's Gallery! You won't find cards thanking father figures. Why sell duplicates when there is an original? This may sound like a harangue but the fact is "father figures" are one time passwords that become invalid upon use. Consumerism looks at sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers, not their in-law or surrogate versions. As "father figure" my only proud possessions are two scrappy "Thank You" cards. The spoken "Thank Yous" have had even shorter life. Speaks volumes about the influence of varnished fathers of whom I am a glowing example.

I have been caring, supportive, kind, helpful, generous but as a "father figure" I am just a figure of speech. As I wrote a little while ago: Fathers take away all the credits and accolades as they should. Father figures are laid by the wayside.