How about outsourcing Hormuz Toll Naka to India?

Raju Korti
The day I heard the rumour that ships might have to pay a toll to pass through the Strait of Hormuz, my first thought was very simple. Finally, the world has caught up with India.

(Pic is purely imaginary)

For years we have perfected the science of the Toll Naka. Every few kilometres a booth appears like a philosophical reminder that no ride in life is truly free. Roads, bridges and sometimes even a suspiciously short flyover come with their own toll plaza. Naturally, I imagined that somewhere between Iran and Oman a similar Naka must be under construction.

Picture the scene: A large yellow board reads: “Welcome to Hormuz Toll Plaza. Please keep FASTag active.” In the middle of the sea, enormous oil tankers line up like trucks outside a Maharashtra highway toll gate during Diwali traffic. A gigantic Iranian officer waves a fluorescent baton and signals ships to slow down.

“Next vessel please. Cargo type?” “Crude oil.” “Very good. Commercial category. Please pay.”At this point the captain nervously checks whether his ship has Fastag linked to the right bank account. If not, the poor fellow must do what every Indian driver does at toll plazas. Frantically search for network to complete an online payment.

Of course there will be different lanes. One for FASTag enabled vessels. One for cash payment for nostalgic countries that still believe in physical currency. And the slowest lane of all called “Exact change only.”

I can also imagine the controversies. Some shipping companies will complain that the toll charges are too high. Others will argue that they already paid at the previous international checkpoint. A few clever captains will attempt to slip through the emergency lane pretending they are ambulances of the sea.

Television debates will erupt immediately. So called experts will shout hoarse about maritime sovereignty. Economists will calculate the cost per barrel of oil. Retired admirals will discuss whether the Toll Naka should be manned by the navy, the coast guard or a private contractor who previously managed highways near Ahmedabad.

Meanwhile the real masters of the system will quietly appear. Not diplomats. Not naval officers. Indian toll plaza managers. Within weeks the entire operation will run with clockwork efficiency. Digital receipts. Online payments. SMS alerts. And of course, a polite but firm announcement over loudspeakers.

“Dear global shipping community, kindly maintain lane discipline and keep your Fastag active. Failure to comply will result in double toll charges.

”The Indian government has clarified that no such Toll Naka exists at Hormuz. But if the world ever decides to install one, I have an humble suggestion. Please invite India to design it. After all, nobody understands toll economics better than us.

While the government clarifies that no such toll exists at Hormuz, somewhere in India our own Nitin Gadkari might be chuckling to himself at the sheer globalisation of the Toll Naka idea.