Male Socialist!

Raju Korti
Before I launch into this harangue, let me clear this at the outset. I have never spoken to Samajwadi Party leader and former chief minister Mulayam Singh Yadav although I came face to face with him several times in my professional calling. Two reasons prominently deterred me from speaking to the man who claims to be the torch-bearer of Dr Ram Manohar Lohia's ideals. One, his utter predictability even while conceding the crooked politician that he is and his anhydrous face that looks carved out of some Cuddpah stone.
To write about the opportunistic and misogynist Samajwadi Party would be stating the obvious given its long history of male chauvinism but what seduces me is the sheer facetious side of Mulayam Singh which unfolds at the most awkward of times. For him that is!
In his sexist wisdom Mulayam feels that boys being boys, are prone to commit rapes more by aberration than design and therefore don't deserve punishment as harsh as death. Public furore and sensitivity mean little to him since statistics, if not anything else, says a lot about these "enthusiastic boys" who find rape such an abiding and compelling pastime. But a patronizing Mulayam will not risk reducing himself to a cipher by rubbing his "secular" vote bank the wrong way.
Since then, of course, he has tempered his overzealous comment with an assurance that "No one respects women more than Samajwadi Party." One does not have to rummage the archives to discover that the Samajwadi Party has steadfastly opposed the Women's Reservation Bill on several specious reasons, one -- no prizes for guessing -- being patently casteist. It is another story that having broken off with the rudderless Congress and flirting with the Bharatiya Janata Party whenever it suits him, he pulled out all stops in the like-minded company of Laloo Prasad Yadav who has over half a dozen daughters himself and a wife he shamelessly anointed as Bihar's chief minister when he was unceremoniously kicked out. The bill was tabled in the Parliament by the BJP.
Mulayam had reasoned out that "if the Women's Reservation Bill is passed, Parliament will be filled with women who will invite catcalls and whistles. Once the bill comes into force, not a single male would be elected to the Lok Sabha after 10 years as elected women would not leave their seats, nor the political parties would be in a position to replace them.". Who knows, if the bill is passed he and his cowland partner would have to bear the onerous burden of spending more time inside the Parliament, showcasing their talent at whistling and catcalls. Pity, the women who stormed his Lucknow house and whistled in chorus as protest all through the day, failed to see the humor behind his depraved logic.
A Facebook friend has appealed to me to label him as "pervert", but sample this concern of his for the womenfolk in the villages. "Rural women will not benefit from the Women's Reservation Bill because they are not as attractive as those from the affluent class. Bade bade gharon ki ladkiya aur mahilayan kewal upar ja sakti hain...yaad rakhna...apko mauka nahi milega..hamare gaon ki mahila me akarshan itna nahin...," (Only girls and women from affluent class can go forward...remember this..you (rural women) will not get a chance...Our rural women did not have that much attraction)," he had said at a rally in Barabanki in 2012.
For all his anti-feminist posturing, the Samajwadi Party has still managed to cobble up a women's wing called Samajwadi Mahila Sabha. I have no clue what this women's wing does, but I am more enthused at the prospect of meeting its rustic members than the poker-faced villain of this piece.

Wealth is wealth!

Raju Korti

Pic for only representation

In the rough and tumble of an insane mess called elections in India, there is something voyeuristically delightful for even a diehard cynic like me. I mean it sounds so lasciviously rib-tickling when headlines suggestively say "Rakhi Sawant declares her assets." But it is the larger picture beyond the innuendo and double entendre that seeks my serious attention.
The irrepressible drama queen contesting the election from Mumbai North West declared, as is required by the law, the details of the property she owns while filing her nomination papers. Forget that she is a self-proclaimed "illiterate". Also ignore she is contesting for a party called Rashtriya Aam Party -- a name that probably didn't occur to Arvind Kejriwal because the cap on his head didn't make him scratch his head enough. But she certainly earns my eyebrows for the Rs 15 crore assets she owns at 36. According to the declaration, she has cash of Rs.96,427 in hand, and Rs.39.13 lakh in fixed deposits. Apart from an investment of Rs.61.26 lakh in bonds and shares and Rs.2.12 crore in insurance and postal savings, she also owns a Ford Endeavour worth Rs.21 lakh and jewelry worth Rs.7.55 lakh.
It is not my case here how she will confront seasoned crooks on the political stage. Nor is it of any concern to me that given her penchant to create entertainment where none exists, she has the potential to ruffle feathers and raise a hornet's nest. Hapless voters desperately need some fun in times where newspapers columns and TV talk time become dreadfully boring.
To me there is something earnestly arresting about candidates declaring their assets. The feeling of deriving a vicarious, proxy pleasure of knowing people's (known and unknown) wealth charms me no end. This charm is peppered with intrigue when you seriously start wondering how most candidates may have acquired their ever-sprouting crores when their means and qualification are woefully ill-equipped. The irony is people who are generous have no money and those with money are not generous.
Sample this supreme irony. While Congress President Sonia Gandhi declared Rs 9 crore as her assets, it is a no brainer that an outlandish Rakhi Sawant is twice as loaded. You have to read between the lines to draw your own conclusions. Politics is a known conduit in rags-to-riches stories, yet it never fails to daze me when candidates reel out details of their riches -- real estate, cash, bank deposits, jewelry, fleet of vehicles, stocks, bonds and what have you. Fortune grows in the lap of luxury!
Fed on the racy pulp fiction of the likes of James Hadley Chase and Raymond Chandler -- occasionally sautéed with the literary finesse of Graham Greene -- in my impressionable days, I have often wondered and toyed with the idea of writing a Capital Chalisa , my own coinage, of course.
Preposterous as it may sound, I honestly believe that as a have-not, I am better qualified to understand and appreciate the worth of money. The fact that the Goddess of Wealth has been more than fickle with me than many others has made little difference to my philosophy. So righteous indignation takes over when people are sometimes referred to --rather uncharitably -- as "filthy rich" or "rolling in money". As a child, senior relatives often told me legendary stories of my great grand uncle who was so rich that he used to roll out cigarettes from notes and smoke them. I heard those stories with awe not because my ancestor was "stinking rich" but for the incredulousness of his riches.
Man does not possess wealth, wealth possesses a man. That will tell you why I am a man of modest means.