Raju Korti
Illness does not merely affect the
afflicted; it casts a long, relentless shadow over their loved ones as well.
While patients endure physical suffering, their families bear the emotional and
financial brunt, often with little respite. In our line of work, we frequently
encounter caregivers -- exhausted, overwhelmed, and teetering on the edge of
despair. They come seeking guidance, and as they recount their struggles, eyes
brimming with unshed tears, our hearts inevitably ache for them. Consolation,
in such moments, feels woefully inadequate. The stark reality remains: illness
disrupts lives, depletes finances, and saps the spirit. We do our best to instil
hope, for hope, as they say, is what keeps the world afloat.
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The book cover |
This very sentiment
forms the soul of
Sobati, a deeply moving book by senior journalist and
writer friend Chandrashekhar Welankar. It is not just a personal narrative but
a profound exploration of human relationships, resilience, and the quiet
strength of companionship.
Sobati chronicles not only the battle against
illness but also the unwavering spirit of those who stand by their loved ones,
offering solace in moments of despair.
Chandrashekhar Welankar is not merely the
author of this book -- he is the living embodiment of the Sobati
philosophy. The genesis of this book lies in his wife Varsha’s prolonged and
arduous health struggles. What began as a seemingly minor ailment -- gallbladder
stones -- escalated into sudden kidney failure, necessitating years of dialysis
and, eventually, a transplant. Yet, even after enduring these painful
procedures, the battle was/is far from over.
Through this deeply personal
account, Chandrashekhar highlights an often-overlooked reality: illness is
never an individual struggle. While the patient experiences the physical
affliction, those attending to them (he avoids words like caregiver or guide) endure
emotional and financial distress that is just as debilitating. Doctors provide
medical interventions, but the ceaseless anxiety, the crushing weight of
financial constraints, and the gnawing fear of uncertainty are borne silently
by families. This is where a Sobati -- a true companion -- becomes
invaluable.
A Sobati is not necessarily a medical professional or a
trained caregiver. They may be a family member, a close friend, or even a
stranger -- anyone who offers unwavering support, not through grand gestures
but through the simple yet profound act of being present. Sometimes, just
listening without offering unsolicited advice is the most precious gift one can
give.
The book begins with the ephemeral, transient nature of life, its
existential crises and an inevitability called death. As the book unfolds, each
chapter resonates with raw, unfiltered emotions. The anguish of watching a
loved one suffer, the financial strain of prolonged medical treatments, the
sleepless nights spent in hospital corridors -- these experiences are
heartbreakingly real. Yet, amidst this turmoil, Sobati illuminates the
power of silent, steadfast companionship. In moments of crisis, words often
fail, but a reassuring presence can speak volumes.
In response to his
experiences, Chandrashekhar and his wife Varsha founded the Sobati Seva
Foundation. This initiative serves as a beacon of hope for families
grappling with medical crises, especially terminal illnesses. It extends not
just emotional support but also practical guidance on financial planning,
insurance, and accessing medical resources -- especially crucial for
middle-class families struggling to balance healthcare costs with daily
expenses.
Chandrashekhar observed that even after receiving a correct diagnosis,
many patients and their families remain in the dark due to a lack of adequate
information about the illness and its treatment. Recognizing these critical
gaps, he took it upon himself to bridge the divide between patients and medical
experts. However, in this role, he remains steadfast in his belief that the
medical expert’s opinion is sacrosanct and must always hold the highest
authority in the entire process.
Drawing from his eye-opening experiences, the
author strongly believes that a Sobati must always remain attuned to emotional
well-being while seeking expert advice, when necessary, without hesitation or
doubt. In such situations, a complex interplay of emotions unfolds -- ranging
from worry, concern, and anguish to anger, confusion, revulsion, frustration,
loneliness, and even despair. Chandrashekhar outlines a comprehensive blueprint
for a Sobati, envisioning them as a guiding force -- a source of strength and
solace for the families of terminally ill patients.
When Varsha’s illness was
first diagnosed in 2013, Chandrashekhar was devastated. However, by 2019, he
had not only found the strength to heal as a husband but had also embraced a
larger purpose -- supporting others facing similar hardships. He recognized
that the families of terminally ill patients grappled with the same fears and
uncertainties. From this realization, the first “Sobati” was born -- ready to
inspire and pave the way for many more like him, serving as a guiding light for
those navigating the same difficult journey.
Chandrashekhar underscores an
essential yet often neglected truth: financial preparedness is an integral part
of medical care. During Varsha’s illness, the staggering medical expenses ran
into more than Rs one crore. Fortunately, prudent financial planning and the
generosity of well-wishers helped mitigate the burden. However, not everyone is
so fortunate. Through his foundation, Chandrashekhar strives to empower
families with knowledge and resources to navigate these daunting challenges.
An
ardent votary of “see good, hear good and speak good”, Chandrashekhar does not
forget to say a few words of gratitude to all those known and unknown Sobatis
who are like co-travellers in testing times. He remains indebted to the unknown
Samaritan, who donated kidney to Varsha and virtually gave a new lease of life.
Chandrashekhar
reasons that “to serve others better, a Sobati must prioritize own
physical, psychological, and emotional well-being. This is not selfishness. It
is believed that 8 out of 10 Sobatis neglect themselves, fearing it
would seem self-centred. Even something as simple as watching a movie triggers a
feeling of guilt -- How can I think of this when my loved one is so unwell?
Sobati
is not merely an account of personal suffering; it is a universal narrative of
love, endurance, and the quiet heroism of those who care. It speaks to anyone
who has ever stood by a loved one in their darkest hour. Whether you have lost
someone dear, are currently tending to an ailing relative, or simply wish to
understand the depth of human resilience, this book will touch your soul.
By all
accounts, a Sobati is not an entity, He is Thought, Compassion, Empathy, in
fact a complete algorithm of those who appear as angels in different forms at
different times while terminal illness keeps taking its toll. The book –
free-flowing and lucid -- is dedicated to every individual who thinks he/she is
secondary when it comes to his near and dear ones.
Every page of Sobati with
its eleven chapters – each one intensely thought-provoking -- is imbued with
poignant reflections. It does not shy away from life’s harshest realities -- pain,
loss, and the inevitability of death. Yet, it also offers a profound message:
while death is inescapable, the journey towards it can be made less painful
with the right companionship. And sometimes, that companionship is not about
fixing the unfixable but about walking together, hand in hand, through life’s
most trying moments.
Chandrashekhar, certified Yoga Instructor and Lifestyle
Consultant, has dedicated his life to social service, and Sobati is more
than just a book -- it is the cornerstone of a movement. In a world where
people are increasingly isolated despite technological connectivity, the need
for genuine human companionship has never been greater. Through this book, Chandrashekhar
urges us all to be Sobatis -- to extend a hand, to listen, and to simply
be there. He leads by example and begins by being one himself!
The book’s cover
design, a visual masterpiece by renowned artist Sharad Tarade, encapsulates its
essence beautifully. Published by Amaltash Books, Pune, Sobati is
an essential read, for its insights could prove invaluable to anyone, at any
stage of life.
At its core, Sobati is not about one individual -- it is
about a way of being. It is a philosophy of care, an ethos of compassion, and
an unwavering belief in the power of togetherness. The more this philosophy
spreads, the more humane and empathetic our society will become.
The book is
love’s labour. It exemplifies dedication, commitment, sincerity and above all
sensitivity to human existence. This book is not just meant to be read. It is
meant to be lived.
[‘Sobati’, authored by Chandrashekhar Welankar,
published by Amaltash Books, Pune, Pages 128, Price Rs 200].